I have a friend from North Carolina who is always getting frustrated with me for “talking like a northerner” when I’m technically from Texas. The problem is I only visit Texas (or the US at all) every other year, so I’ve adopted the dialect of other Americans around me. Honestly, I’m not sure which part of the country I talk the most like. In any event, when I heard we had to write this assignment using southern dialect, I wasn’t too sure how it would turn out. The words did flow much better than I had anticipated, but I’m very open to suggestions. 🙂
Well now Brer Fox had grown mighty tired of Brer Rabbit hoppin’ around trickin’ everybody, so he dug a hole and covered it with a mighty fine picnic blanket and a basket of carrots. Then he laid low by the side of the road and waited. Now Brer Rabbit went skipping along the road and realized he’d become mighty hungry. “Well, I sore would like somethin’ ta eat,” he said, patting his empty belly. Brer Fox grinned from one pointy ear to the other.
“I wonder if there’s anythin’ good around here,” Brer Rabbit wondered, looking around. Brer Fox grinned from one pointy ear to the other.
“Well now, would you look at that!” he exclaimed. “There’s a whole basket of carrots!” Brer Fox grinned from one pointy ear to the other.
So Brer Rabbit went hoppin’ up to the picnic basket and sore enough, soon as he’d reached it, he’d done fall in the hole. “I got ya now, Brer Rabbit,” Brer Fox laughed, coming out of hidin’.
“Well, ‘spose there’s notin’ I can do then.” So Brer Rabbit got himself nice and comfy in his hole. “Say,” he said, finishin’ up his last carrot. “I could really use a dessert to go after that fine meal.”
“Mighty sorry about that,” Brer Fox said with an evil grin. “’Cause you ain’t neva getting’ out of this hole.”
“Well that’s too bad,” said Brer Rabbit. “’Cause I sore would like some honey.”
“Honey! You’ve neva eaten honey, Brer Rabbit.”
“Sore have. And it’s the most delicious thang I’ve eva tasted.”
Now Brer Fox was startin’ ta grow mighty jealous. How come Brer Rabbit had gotten to taste somethin’ he’d never had? “Naw ya haven’t. Nobody’s able ta get honey. The bees’ll sting ya somethin’ awful.”
“Well, I’ve gotten honey. So has Brer Bear and Sis Cow.”
Brer Fox chuckled nervously. “Brer Rabbit, you must think I’m a right fool to believe that. Gettin’ honey is downright impossible!”
“Sore it’s possible. Ya just gotta know the secret.”
“There’s a secret? Tell it ta me.”
“Ah, it’d be no good ta tell ya,” Brer Rabbit said.
“Aw, common’! Why not?”
“You’d neva be able ta do it. You’d make a right fool of yourself. Too bad, ‘cause honey is the best thing I’ve eva tasted.”
Brer Fox’s mouth started to water. There was nothin’ more he wanted than to try some honey. “Ya’ve gotta tell me. I can do it just as well as anybody else.”
“Alright, alright,” said Brer Rabbit. “But first ya’ve gotta let me out so I can show ya!”
Brer Fox stopped and thought for a moment. “Alright, but ya’ve gotta show me real quick then ya gotta go right back in the hole.”
“I promise,” said Brer Rabbit, grabbin’ to a rope Brer Fox dropped down. “Alright Brer Fox, ya gotta listen to me real close or ya’re gonna mess it all up. Hear me?”
“Yep, I hear ya.”
“Alright. Ya gotta walk up to that beehive and soon as you get close enough, give it a good whack with that bushy tail of yours.”
“Naw, they’ll just sting me.”
“Alright but here’s the thang. Ya gotta tie a pink bow onto your tail. Then they won’t stang ya.”
Brer Fox thought for a moment. “Aw, common’. That can’t work.”
“Sore does. I’ve done it plenty of times myself. I’ll even come with ya ta make sore it goes right.”
Now Brer Fox couldn’t let Brer Rabbit succeed in anythang he hadn’t done, so he tied a pink bow ‘round his tail and found the nearest bee hive. Soon as he got close enough, he gave it a mighty whack. Sore thang, the bees came out and stung ‘em. Brer Fox ran fast as his legs could carry him hollerin’, “Help! Help!” So Brer Rabbit went runnin’ free while Brer Fox made a right fool of himself runnin’ ‘round the country side with a pink bow on his tail.