Do you ever feel like people are asking you the same questions over and over? I think every college-bound student has been asked most of these questions, or some form of them, at least 452 times this summer. Thus, I have graciously provided my answers to all of them, so I can direct people to this page and avoid small talk. 🙂 Warning: Sarcasm ahead.
Q: Sooo, where are you going to school?
A: Boston. Boston University.
Q: Congratulations! Why did you choose to go there?
A: Umm… money. They gave me a scholarship.
Q: Oh, that’s great. Then how did you choose to apply in the first place?
A: Goodness gracious, I don’t know! I was such a confused child when applying to colleges that I didn’t know how or why I was applying anywhere. But if you want to know how I found the school, umm… College Board told me it would be a good fit. Is that a good answer?
Q: Okay. Well you better be careful up in Boston. Do you know how liberal they are up there?
A: Liberal? Well, gosh diddly darn! I never would have guessed Boston was liberal. And it’s not as if I would like to meet anyone with different political beliefs than the ones I’m used to. Because I am every bit as conservative as you assume I am, and because I have no brain, I’m naturally concerned I will absorb all liberal ideas I come into contact with. If Boston is liberal, I’m just going to have to renounce my scholarship, aren’t I?
Q: What are you majoring in?
A: Well, at first I was thinking English or Creative Writing or something, but then I realized most of the jobs available to me would be teaching jobs, and I do not have the patience to deal with one of those. So then I decided on the most PRACTICAL, money-making major ever: sociology.
Q: Why did you choose that major?
A: Like I said, it’s the ultimate millionaire’s major! NO, because I’m passionate about it. But I also happen to be passionate about being able to eat so I’m thinking about that career factor…
Q: Do you know what job you’re going to get?
A: *Facepalm* All these questions make me feel like I don’t think things through well.
Q: Are you planning on finding a husband in college?
A: Oh yes. That’s my one and only goal. Why else would I have spent so much time studying for the SAT, move to another continent, and work to pay for college? It wouldn’t be to get a good education. What a preposterous idea. I mean, a woman trying to get an education in order to get a job outside the home? In the twenty first century? Laughable. And it’s not like there are perfectly free dating sites I could use to find a date if that was my goal in life.
Q: Are you excited?
A: YES. But also nervous and terrified. Because I’m an introvert and shy and moving to a whole new culture with tons and tons of people and I’m an obsessive freak about my grades and want to do really well and… did I mention I’m a tad nervous? But, yes. I’m excited.