I am sorry. Despite the fact that it is Christmas Eve, I cannot refain from writing tragedy. I hope you can forgive me.
Once there was a nutcracker who came out of a box from under a tree.
Two children, one boy and one girl, both shouted and clapped with glee.
They played games to cuddle him, they played games to send him to war,
With their new nutcracker they played games they never thought of before.
The relatives smiled while the boy and girl played with their new doll
Until the children hatched a terrible naughty plan which was no good at all.
When their parents weren’t looking, they took the nutcracker to the kitchen.
They climbed the counter to find a nut, opened their friends’ mouth, and slipped it in.
Then the girl pushed on the lever until she heard a terrible crack.
Screaming, she pulled the nutcracker to her, and its mouth went slack.
The boy pulled her arm, handed her a nut, and begged her to try once more.
Because if not to crack nuts, then what is a nutcracker for?
So she tried the trick again, only to make the nutcracker’s mouth break in two.
When the nutcracker’s mouth fell, the children filled the kitchen with sounds of boo hoo.
Huddling in the corner, they made such a ruckus all the relatives came.
With horror they gaped at the once beautiful nutcracker. They knew who to blame.
So then the children received a scolding to last them a lifetime.
By the end they felt as if they had committed the worst most awful crime.
And every Christmas thereafter, a broken nutcracker sat in the windowsill,
Presiding over every Christmas season, despite the regret he would instill
In the two young children who learned a valuable lesson that fateful day:
That you cannot crack nuts with a wooden nutcracker, try as you may.
As the years went on, regret gave way. The humor and folly of the story began to blur,
Thus it became a family legend: the tale of the nut-cracked nutcracker.
Yes, I know. Tragic. Please forgive me for the ridiculousness of this poem. Merry Christmas!!!